A Letter for No One

Every day, I try to convince myself that there is someone made just for me in the sea of faces I see. That there is someone perfectly molded for me to fit in his arms, purposely destined for me because he is the only one who can and gladly, will understand me; accept my flaws and my imperfections; love me for who I am and what I have become.

Every day, I try to be the best that I can be for that someone. I may not know his name by now, I may not know how he looks like, how he speaks, how he acts but I’m certain that he, also, is giving his all to be the best that he can be for me. I would want to believe that true love still exists. That someone could still offer his whole heart for someone he hasn’t even met and be faithful to the one he offers his heart to.

Every year, I spend my Valentine’s watching and counting how many girls have received their bouquet of roses, their cuddly teddy bears and their boxes of chocolate. Silently, I wish I have one, too. But at the back of my mind, I wonder how many of these girls would still receive the same gifts from the same man next year. Would I want that, too? Would I want someone with these gifts this year?

Every time, I listen to love songs and feel hollow. Understand its lyrics and find no meaning in it at all. Silently, I was wishing for you to sing me one. And how I wish I could sing one for you, too.

I believe you will come someday and implicitly explain to me why any gift would not mean a thing to me and why it never worked out right with anybody else. It’s because all along we were waiting for us to find each other. All this time, we know, we have given our hearts to one another without knowing who we really are.

Unknowingly, I was waiting for someone who would spend his whole day with me in the park, ride the swing with me while holding my hands; while dreaming of us together in the future; while seeing me by his side ‘til the end comes. Unknowingly, I let myself get hurt with those who have come first because deep inside I know each broken heart will lead me down to where you are; that each heartache means a step closer to where you stand; that each wrong guy will let me realize who you really are.

We just have to wait. Find ourselves. Get our dreams and grow apart. So that when we meet, we will be in the best of our individualities. So that when we finally look at each others’ eyes, there will not be anything in it but us. There will not be anything else that would matter but our dreams together.

God has planned to let us meet at that perfect time only He knows because that is the best time for us to meet. When that time comes, we will have all the time in the world for only us, two. We can spend every morning having coffee and just staring at each other and we’d go out again on our roads separately ‘coz that’s how we would grow. We would go, be successful in our chosen paths with our picture in mind. We would make the best out of life apart and still would do it for each other, with each other. With hope and yearning that as we go home, we’d be sleeping side by side and would still have each other palms together as we wake up.

When that day comes, there’d be no more bitter counting of girls with bouquets and gifts because I know I have already received the best gift I could ever have in my life. When that day comes, even the worst love song ever written would sound just as good as the best ones because I know I’d be dedicating it for you or I guess, no love song would be comparable to that crazy lullaby we would always have in our hearts.

No it won’t be perfect. Nothing ever was. But we will always have each other to tap each others’ back. You will always have my shoulder to cry on, my hands to hold on to. I could always count on you when insecurity kills my being and you would always be there to tell me how beautiful I am and I would always believe in you.

But for now, we should live our lives and be the best of who we can be and wait until God allows us to see each other; until He allows you to read these words…

(A Love Song for No One by John Mayer)